"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that really isn't you."
People often ask me "How do you stay so positive all of the time?". While I enjoy the simplicity of the question, the answer is one that is a bit more complicated. I'm not sure that I was always as positive as I am and God knows, somedays it's hard to find the sunshine amongst the gloom, but honestly, it's not something I really think about until I am asked the question.
A couple of years ago, I hit "rock bottom" and experienced one of the darkest moments of my life. While it was one of the hardest things I have ever been through, that pivotal moment will be one that I will never forget. For the first time in my life, I didn't think that I was good enough. I didn't feel that I was deserving of love. I, happy go lucky Shea, lost faith in the person that I was. I let people dictate my worth; I let their words and their opinions eat at me and drive me into a darkness I had never known before. I knew in that moment I had two choices
Give up
Stand up become stronger than I ever have
After a lot of help both externally and internally, I decided to go with the latter and stand up and become the person I was meant to be. In that moment of darkness, I was being stripped of the person that I wasn't and becoming the person that I always was.
I tell you this story because yes, I do try and stay positive all of the time. I do try to find the good in all situations not because I am always happy, but because I know what it's like to be so very sad and that is not ever a place I ever want to be again or want anyone to ever experience. It took me a long time to believe in me, to love the person that I am and now that I am here; I will not settle for anything less.
Above you will see my new branding and like me it has a lot of meaning. One of my very best friends, Becca, designed it for me. I gave her a tall order to fill and within a couple of hours she had designed this and I was instantly in love. I wanted something that made people smile, that conveyed a message of hope, love and a sense of belonging. I wanted people to know that while change can be difficult, it is quite beautiful.
Why is it called SheaStyle? Well, I'm not a big talker in person, but I do like to write and I like to write a lot; so when someone writes a rather lengthy text, post, etc. my dick (and I say this with all of the love) friend, Jess, deemed it SheaStyle!
What are the other meanings behind it?
I am not sure Becca meant this, but I thought it was brilliant, the "e" in Shea really holds no value, so why not fill it with a happy face, something I wish for all to feel.
The rainbow color, while universally represents "gay pride" in which I am a huge advocate of; it also represents, to me, that "while every day might not be good, there is good in every day; sometimes you just have to look a little harder"... the rainbow can be a symbol of the many things in your life; hope, belonging, happiness, the light in the darkest of moments; a friend or family memeber that brightens up your world, etc.
And of course the butterfly. The butterfly represents all of the pivotal moments in our life where we change and evolve into the person that we were destined to become. It represents endless possibilities, soaring to new heights and that through our darkest moments, even when the situations are complicated and we feel our weakest, we are beautiful and loved beyond our wildest dreams.
This is me. These are the things that I represent and all of the things that I believe in. Positivity is amazing, but sometimes it's hard to find. I hope in the days that you are grasping to find the good, I can be the rainbow in your day! I hope that I can be a gentle reminder that you are worth it even in the times that you feel that you aren't. I hope in my long winded blogs, you find something that allows you to believe in yourself. Most importantly, I hope that you remember that in the lowest of your lows, the days that you think you just can't go on, there is always one more reason to try. I am living proof that you can reach the bottom and climb back up; you just have to courage not to give up!
SOME EXCITING NEWS!!!!
I'm moving to the 608!!! In weeks to come, my blog will be a part of the 608 Blog Squad https://www.thesixzeroeight.com/new-page !!! I am super excited to see where this next venture will take me (maybe if there is interest, some SheaStyle swag will be in the works)! It will take me some time to get the logistics worked out, but look for an upcoming move in the near future! 608 is doing big things and I am excited to be a part of their community! My style won't change, but hoping that my words will reach a wider audience and more will get a little piece of Shea love! Thank you all for your support! Remember, every time you read my blog, you are allowing me to chase my dreams; I hope something in it, sparks something in you, to chase yours!
'The big things-how we think, what we value--those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone--or any society--determine those for you.'--Tuesdays with Morrie
Nothing Butta Love